Five TV Sweeps Stunts You Just Can't Miss

Today is a very special day. No, not because you remembered where you left your car keys. (But good for you!)

Today marks the official start of November sweeps, and that means mega-wattage guest stars, jaw-dropping storylines and a whole lot more headed to your TV! To make sure you don't miss anything, here are the five must-see sweeps stunts we're already drooling over (in no particular order):

1. Gwyneth Gleeks Out! Oscar-winner Gwyneth Paltrow is really truly stopping by McKinley High this fall (as we first reported, thankyouverymuch), and not only is she bringing those tip-tip acting chops, she'll be singing as well! Oh, and she might throw another wrench into the whole Wemma quadrangle, but we know you guys don't care about that at all. Ahem. Maybe if we play our cards right, Gwynnie's gal will ride off into the sunset on that Rocky Horror motorcycle with Carl the Dentist (John Stamos), and Will and Emma will live happily ever after. Also heading to Glee this fall is Kurt's probable-soon-to-be-boyfriend Blaine, played by  future husband in the making Darren Criss. (Check back for our exclusive Q&A with him posting soon.)

2. Jennifer Grey Wins DWTS! Premature, shmeemature! We know talent when we see it, and this Baby's got it. Sure, America (and those darn judges with their wonky score paddles) have the final say, but we're calling it now: Jennifer Grey and her adorably sexy partner Derek Hough will walk away with that coveted mirrorball trophy. She's got the moves, the poise, the grace—heck, she may as well be one of the professionals up there showing the actors how to two-step. One thing we know for sure is that come Nov. 22 and Nov. 23, the only place you'll wanna be is tuning into ABC (and then checking back here for the backstage scoop, of course). 

3. Lights Out on FNL! We hate to see it go, but at least television's underdog savior known as DirecTV is dishing out one more season of our beloved Friday Night Lights. And let us just say this: It. Is. Goood. It really doesn't feel like the final season, which is an unexpected treat. Plus, there's Taylor Kitsch (yep, he's still around), gorgeous newbie Grey Damon (check him out here), and all the Coach and Tami Taylor you can handle. Season five kicked off last night, but there's plenty of FNL fun throughout November, so get on board.

4. Teri Hatcher Plus Superman Forever! Lois Lane's in the hiz-ouse! Something big is happening onSmallville during sweeps when Teri Hatcher (Lois of yesteryear) stops by the CW hit to play Erica Durance, aka present Lois' late mother Ella Lane. "We thought, Who do you get to play Lois' mom?" show runner Brian Peterson tells us. "And everybody just looked at each other and was like, 'Beep, beep—Teri Hatcher!' She's been fantastic." The emotional episode airs Nov. 12, and is centered on Lois discovering old home movies left to her by the then-ailing Ella. Tear.

5. Guest Stars Galore! Nothing spruces up your favorite shows more than a fresh face (preferably a very famous one with a huge fan following!) and lucky for us, the network bigwigs are sparing no expense to deliver this year. Mandy Moore and Ryan Devlin are reprising their emotional season-finale roles on Grey's Anatomy (Oct. 28; Nov. 4), geek goddess Eliza Dushku will sexify The Big Bang Theory (Nov. 4), Nicole Scherzinger is ready to rival Robin Sparkles on How I Met Your Mother (Nov. 15), Hilary Duff will be a very mean girl on Community (Nov. 4), Amber Tamblyn will test House's patience on, well, House (Nov. 8), Sara Rue will visit Rules of Engagement (Nov. 8) and Miranda Cosgrove will turn dramatic on The Good Wife (Nov. 16). Whew!

Hangover Director: Mel Gibson Wasn't Fired!

Like a bumbling bachelor-partygoer who's wondering how he lost his front tooth,Todd Phillips is trying to piece together what really happened.

The director assured reporters Wednesday that Mel Gibson was not hired and then fired from making a cameo inThe Hangover 2.

Rather, Phillips said at a press event forDue Date, the reputation-impaired star "was just doing a favor from the beginning."

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"No one was ever fired," Phillips insisted. "It's a term that is so obscene to me."

Surely Gibson can teach Phillips some far more obscene terms, but the filmmaker wouldn't give an inch when asked who (i.e., Was it Zach Galifianakis?) on the Hangover team objected to Gibson scoring a snippet of screen time as a Bangkok tattoo artist.

"Someone was doing me a favor to come in for a two-minute cameo, and we changed it," Phillips said simply. "It wasn't like we fired somebody. [Gibson] was just doing a favor from the beginning."

Liam Neeson has since been tapped to do the honors.

E! Online's Marc Malkin was first to confirm that the main castmembers from the first film, minusHeather Graham, will be back for the sequel, which will be shooting in L.A. and Thailand.

New Movie Poll: Who's Ready for a Gory Halloween Weekend With Saw 3D?

As the weekend approaches, you know what that means: new movies.

And with Halloween and all its scary delights upon us, one movie is coming to the forefront: Saw 3D: The Final Chapter.

The saga that defined the horror-torture genre is drawing to a close, and if you're in the mood for a cringe-worthy, gore-filled time at the movies, this flick should be right up your alley.

So what do you think? Ready to get your spooky weekend started with some of those good-old Saw "games"?

Chelsea Handler Uses Ghost Adventures to Predict Charlie Sheen's Afterlife

Forget Paranormal Activity 2. Chelsea Handler is giving us something even creepier—Paranormal Sexual Activity—thanks to reality-tv spookfest Ghost Adventures.

So what does this all have to do with hotel-room trasher Charlie Sheen?

The Office: Amy Ryan's Return Date Officially Set!

Deck those Dunder Mifflin halls with boughs of Holly...Flax!

Amy Ryan's triumphant return the The Office is already in the bag, but the question of when we'll see her lovely face again has remained a mystery—until now...

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Rejoice Hott shippers, because Amy will be back for an adorkable reunion with Michael Scott (Steve Carell) on The Office for this season's one-hour Christmas episode. That means come Thursday, Dec. 9, we'll all be getting an early gift from good ole Santa Claus.

Better yet? This hilarious holiday treat is the brainchild of both Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute) and Mindy Kaling (Kelly Kapoor), which equals total comedy brilliance.

"Finishing 'directing' @mindykaling's brilliant double episode 'Classy Christmas,' " Rainn tweeted last week. Adds Mindy: "Multi-hyphenate @rainnwilson and I are nearly done shooting our Christmas special. It's gonna wreck you, Jackass style."

In case your memory is fuzzy, Holly's Dunder Mifflin return was promised to Michael by Jo (Kathy Bates) in last season's finale. Just don't expect sparks to fly again between the one-time lovebirds right off the bat.

"Holly's in a serious relationship back in Nashua, so she's not thrilled to be back," executive producer Paul Lieberstein (Toby Flenderson) told us. "But Michael's not a guy who gives up easily."

So mark your calendars, kiddies. Amy Ryan will be back on our Thursday night lineup soon enough. Are you excited she'll be making a debut just in time for Christmas? Fill us in below, and don't miss the Dec. 9 episode of The Office on NBC.

Jessica Simpson: "Many Times I Wanted to Surrender and Give Up"

Can you blame Jessica Simpson for wanting to pack it in now and then?

"Many times I wanted to surrender and give up," said the star in an interview with USA Today that touched on subjects such as love, self-esteem and the endless scrutiny surrounding her weight.

"But I have a calling in my life," she said. "And if I have to go through that scrutiny, I will."

Acceptance is good, because the spotlight isn't going anywhere.

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"I went through a really hard time a couple years back with people just harping on the pressure of how to look perfect, obviously using me and my weight. It was a tabloid frenzy," Simpson recalled, most likely referring to the infamous mom-jeans photo and the grief she took for it.

"I feel like people are constantly curious as to how much I weigh or what I look like or what I wear...There's no way you're not going to be affected by the ugly things people say about you. It's very hurtful. It definitely brings up a lot of your own insecurities. It takes a great family and wonderful friends—and love definitely helps, too—to get through it."

Speaking of love, since divorcing Nick Lachey in 2006, Simpson has had quite the weird run, from her "sexual napalm"-producing liaison with John Mayer to her ill-fated relationship with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, which culminated in a breakup right before her 29th birthday.

But now the 30-year-old is getting along just fine with retired NFL player Eric Johnson (and the Cowboys are 1-5).

"He definitely makes me very happy," Simpson said. "He brings out a lot of light in me and makes me very comfortable being who I am. It's nice to be with somebody who praises you for the right reasons."

Right now, Simpson says, she's focused on being a good aunt and godmother. But marriage is never too far from her mind.

"I am from the South, so I've definitely dreamed of being married my whole life and having children, so hopefully that's in my future," she said.

Why Does Hollywood Go Easy on Charlie Sheen, but Not Mel Gibson?

Charlie Sheen gets in trouble—again—and nothing happens to him. Meanwhile, Mel Gibson gets fired from a cameo. Why the double standard?

—Emma, via the inbox

From where you sit, all Hollywood freaks must look alike. But there are degrees of freakdom out here, and Sheen's mutation is much less toxic when it comes to his career.

Now marvel as you, too, learn how to tell one loser from another in my friendly guide to Hollywood freaks:

MORE: Full Charlie Sheen coverage

Co-curated by Cover Awards founder Mark Pasetsky, who has edited many a celebrity gossip story.

First, let's parse who's done what. Sheen has been accused several times of getting violent with spouses, including ex-wife Denise Richards.

This past Christmas, he was arrested in connection with an assault against another wife, Brooke Mueller. Sheen was able to plea down the charges and ended up with a misdemeanor. That translated into probation, anger management and community service.

As for the new "trouble" you mention, here it is: Sheen was hospitalized this week after reportedly being found in a hotel room, behaving in what appeared to be an intoxicated manner. (Sheen's mouthpieces have blamed an adverse reaction to medication for Sheen's comportment).

The Two and a Half Men star also may or may not have been naked.

Gibson, meanwhile, has his own circus of a past, including that infamous drunk driving incident, racial slurs, and, most recently, an ongoing parade of leaked phone conversations that include a breathtaking number of threats and verbal abuses against his ex-girlfriend.

The ex, Oksana Grigorieva, also has alleged that Gibson has gotten physical with her, though law enforcement is still looking into the matter, and no charges have been filed.

Both guys are scumbags.

But here are a few differences worth noting.

One: Sheen's latest jape has more of a self-destructive feel to it. He was in a hotel room doing something, but he wasn't, apparently, threatening anyone else. Meanwhile, the domestic violence allegations against Gibson—obviously a matter much more serious than acting crazy in a hotel room—are still unresolved.

But the biggest difference between Sheen's situation and Gibson's has nothing to do with their rap sheets or prejudices.

"We have so much public evidence against Mel Gibson—the voice recordings from the phone calls, the photograph of Oksana—all very, very public stuff," Pasetsky explains to me. "In contrast, it appears that Sheen was able to keep a lot of the evidence against him under wraps by negotiating a plea deal."

In other words, the public hates Gibson more because it has had a more intimate relationship with the evidence against him.

We can listen to it over and over via the Internet. With Sheen, we can read about the stuff he's done, but we have no photos of Mueller's face, no phone calls recording crazy things Sheen may have said to her.

And in this era of sight and sound, that's a deciding factor, whether it's right or not.

James Franco: Cuts Off Arm Because of General Hospital

If James Franco ends up with an Oscar nomination for his work in 127 Hours, he's got General Hospital to thank.

The actor credits the soap opera in helping him land the role of Aron Ralston, a real-life mountain climber who saved his own life by cutting off his right arm when it got stuck under an 800-pound rock that fell on him iin the middle of Utah's remote Canyonlands National Park…

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In fact, director Danny Boyle admits he initially had doubts about casting the Milk actor. "We saw a number of guys and he wasn't the obvious choice because he's not a look-alike and he's an urbanite really," Boyle told me the other day at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills. "He's a city guy like me. He's not a wilderness guy. I wasn't sure at first. We met him and he was so relaxed—he looked stoned to me."

Studio execs convinced Boyle to meet with Franco again. "I did have to read for it," Franco said Monday at the Hollywood Awards presented by Starz. "He had me fly out to L.A. He didn't give me any material to prepare and when I got there he gave me a page-long speech.

"He asked if I could memorize and do it right away, which normally would have been difficult but I had just been working on a soap opera, General Hospital. I had to memorize like literally 70 pages a day so that little speech was no problem."

He got the part after reading it a couple of times for Boyle. Franco said, "I don't think he knew at the time that General Hospital helped me get the role."

Meanwhile, Boyle also told me he's still hoping to develop a stage musical adaptation of his Oscar-winning hit, Slumdog Millionaire. "We've been talking about it," he said. "I've always wanted to [direct] a musical. Seriously, I love musicals."

Five Stars Snared in Hooker Scandals

Rumor—and rumor—have it that Charlie Sheen was not alone during his "emotionally disturbed" New York hotel stay.

Sheen's rep has declined comment on the escort allegations, but, on the following point, no further confirmation is required:

Sheen is in esteemed company when it comes to prostitutes, scandals and prostitute-related scandal.

1. Hugh Grant: One crazy night in Hollywood in 1995, the British gent paid a lady named Divine Brown $60 to service his BMW's gear shifter, as it were. Police happening upon the fun couple had no trouble identifying the actor—his face was everywhere on posters for Nine Months.    

2. Eddie Murphy: The funnyman was shocked—shocked!—that a 1997 incident involving a car ride, a transsexual prostitute and his own famous self made news. "I [was] just being a nice guy," Murphy said at the time. "…It's not the first hooker that I've helped out." Police said no crime had occurred, although the recipient of Murphy's generous spirit, Atison Ken Seiuli, was arrested on an outstanding warrant. Sad coda: Seiuli died nearly one year later in a fall.

3. Danny Bonaduce: In 1991, the former child star pleaded no contest to assaulting Phoenix resident Darius Lee Barney. Bonaduce had words with—and a punch in the nose for—Barney after Bonaduce, who'd invited Barney into his vehicle, learned the gentleman was a gentleman.

4. Robert De Niro: Are Oscar-winning legends people men, too? Well, upon being ordered before a French judge for questioning about a prostitution ring, this Oscar-winning legend insisted he had not, and did not pay for love. End of story.  

5. Charlie Sheen: Yes, the Two and a Half Men star is the first and last word in subsidized Hollywood hookups. In 1995, Sheen. who claims to have lost his virginity to a prostitute, told a court he'd spent $53,500 on "sexual services—heterosexual services" on at least 27 occasions with women employed by madam Heidi Fleiss. Reviewing all the checks—yes, he wrote checks—Sheen said, "It's starting to add up."

More Miley Cyrus and "The Big Bang" Secrets Revealed!

Last week we gave you a little peek at Miley Cyrus' "The Big Bang" which included some spooky voices and a nasty car crash. Now we can reveal a little more about the video in an extended trailer!

As we continue to gather our "The Big Bang" clues, it appears as though Miley's fate still doesn't look too good. But at least she'll get some steamy Kevin Zegers action before the big crash! That kind of makes up for a maybe, maybe-not fatal car crash, right?

And don't forget—E! News will premiere the full video next Monday at 7 p.m.!

Which Dead Celebrity Is Out-Earning All the Living Ones?

At least Oprah Winfrey can take solace in still being alive to enjoy her millions.

But her fellow entertainers who are still in the pink have taken a backseat in the earnings department to the year's top-earning dead celebrity, a once tarnished star whose image has been burnished to a high, $275 million sheen since his death 16 months ago.

Just in time for Halloween, find out who's still raking in more dough than everyone (but Oprah) from beyond the grave...

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Over the last year, Michael Jackson's estate brought in $275 million, enough to place him at the top of Forbes' annual list of the 13 top-earning celebs who are no longer with us.

The late King of Pop's earnings—based on record sales, This Is It box office and DVD receipts, licensing, merchandise and anything else Jackson-related you can think of—also add up to more than what was made by the following 12 fallen stars combined.

Elvis Presley, who died in 1977, came in at No. 2 with $60 million. That's pretty fantastic for the late, late King of Rock 'n' Roll, especially considering the total doesn't include a concert film featuring footage of his final days. It does include proceeds from records sold, the Cirque du Soleil show Viva Elvis, the dough taken in at Graceland and all other arenas where Elvis' image is utilized.

Third place goes to the creator of all things Middle-earth, J.R.R. Tolkien, who passed away in 1973, with $50 million, thanks to continued sales of Lord of the Rings books, movies and merchandise. The upcoming two-part adaptation of The Hobbit is sure to keep the British author high on this list for some time.

Charles Schulz, who as a newspaper cartoonist might have worked for peanuts once but then made Peanuts work for him, is No. 4 with $33 million. In fifth place is John Lennon, on the eve of what would have been his 70th birthday, with $17 million.

New to the list with $15 million is Swedish author Stieg Larsson, whose Millennium trilogy was immediately adapted for the screen in his native tongue and is already being remade by Hollywood, starting with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara.

More returns went to Dr. Seuss ($11 million) and Albert Einstein ($10 million), followed by late Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who just died in July, with $8 million.

Composer Richard Rogers ($7 million), Jimi Hendrix and Steve McQueen (tied at $6 million) and Aaron Spelling ($5 million) round out Forbes' top 13.

Does this mean the James Dean/Marilyn Monroe-dying-young worship thing is dying out? For the second year in a row, neither gone-before-their-time superstar made it onto the list, despite the perennial fascination with both. Marilyn, for instance, is Vanity Fair's November cover girl and Michelle Williams channels the doomed movie star in My Week With Marilyn.

Lady Gaga Got 1 Billion Views on YouTube—Is That Even a Big Deal!?

Lady Gaga just got her billionth hit on YouTube. Does that make her the most powerful person in music?

—P.L., via the inbox

She has indeed tweeted something about scoring a billion YouTube views. Says the milestone happened over the weekend. We know it's Gaga, too, because she used the word "monsters," and she is physically unable to post anything online without adding that word.

But does 1 billion video views give her power? You mean, like, Bieber power? Well...

If by power you mean popularity, then, yes, this is a major deal, says J.P. Clement, head of The Marketing Distillery.

"Views, just like fans and followers, do not mean much, except that an artist, or a brand, is very popular," Clement tells me.

"That's mostly because these metrics are not a good gauge of engagement, and without engagement, there's no behavioral change, and therefore, little impact on things like sales."

In other words, people like to watch Lady Gaga clad in a pair of sunglasses made entirely of burning cigarettes—as long as it's free.

But those fans don't necessarily want to do much more than that. They don't necessarily want to post comments, or contribute reviews, or, most importantly, buy a single.

And the ultimate measure of an entertainer's power isn't popularity. It's money.

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"Many studies have shown that Twitter followers and Facebook fans follow a personality first and foremost because they are expecting deals and news, and only secondarily because they want to show their support," Clement explains. "We can extrapolate that, similarly, the behavior of watching videos doesn't directly (or even indirectly) translate into buying the music."

Still, the billion-hit mark may translate into a small financial upgrade for Gaga and her Haus of Das Fabulous.

Some of Gaga's videos have ads; "Alejandro" has a commercial for Virgin Mobile preceding it, for example. And more eyeballs on said video could equal more ad dollars, says Lisa Jenkins, an independent music marketing consultant.

"Those Virgin ads are part of a huge sponsorship deal Gaga has," she says. "It may be that for future sponsorships the label or artist can negotiate more money based on how strong her video views are historically."

So that latest billion may not translate into a new mansion, but it might let Gaga upgrade her meat dresses from skirt steaks to filets.

Madonna Wants to Whip the World Into Shape

Want to have arms like Madonna's?

Well, no, you probably don't. But how about a little exercise in a place where you can express yourself?

Madonna announced Monday that she has partnered with manager Guy Oseary and the founder of 24 Hour Fitness to open Hard Candy Fitness in Mexico City, the first of what she's hoping will be a global chain of high-end health clubs.

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"Hard Candy Fitness will be a reflection of Madonna's point of view and will reflect her input on every detail, including music space, light and other design cues," said 24 Hour founder Mark Mastrov, whose New Evolution Ventures is working with the singer. "Madonna's touch will be everywhere."

Now are we talking "Like a Virgin" Madonna, Blonde Ambition Madonna, yogi Madonna, cowgirl Madonna... ? The possibilities are endless!

The 30,000-square-foot flagship Hard Candy in Mexico City is being prepped for a Nov. 29 grand opening and the pop icon is scheduled to be there, according to press info released today. There are currently plans to open at least 10 more locations around the world.

So far, we're picturing macrobiotic snacks at the concession, "Vogue" on the speakers, and screens between treadmills so that people can only be seen in silhouette.

Tiger Lady Rachel Uchitel Talks David Boreanaz, Donald Trump and Celebrity Rehab

Video of Rachel Talking

The name Rachel Uchitel conjures up all sorts of thoughts. Chances are, according to Rachel herself, what you're thinking is wrong.

The celebrity mistress turned reality star sat down exclusively with E! News to set the record straight:

"I am different than the cartoon character that people have made me out to be," she says.

"I am just a normal girl. Like anybody you would know. I am absolutely not the wicked witch that people have made me out to be. It's hurtful. I am human. You know that is a hurtful thing to have people talk about you all the time…There are a lot of things that I think people don't know because nobody has ever asked really."

Until now.

MORE: Five things you need to know about Rachel Uchitel

While Uchitel is understandably eager to put her scandal-plagued past behind her, she understands the flak she's caught in the past 11 months (Thanksgiving, if you'll recall, marks Tiger Woods' one-year anniversary with infamy).

"I would probably think the same thing, too," she says of her reputation. "I understand that it is a subject that people are really interested in. it's something that I have never spoken about. It's something that I don't wish to speak about at all going forward."

However, she clarifies that her silence on the matter is her own choice—not because of any payment or agreement that has determined she can't speak out.

"I am still in hiding. I really changed my life in the last year. I've changed all the people that I speak to. I've changed what I do for a living. I've changed my entire…my entire way that I live is completely different."

But while even a mention of the story makes her "angry," Uchitel says she's not afraid to remain the public eye.

"It was absolutely not an easy decision at all," she said of agreeing to participate in Celebrity Rehab, adding that plenty of people close to her advised her not to take part.

Though she still won't divulge exactly what she was being treated for, she does note that love addiction "is a very real addiction. It's not a moral issue, it's a disease."

"I'll tell you why I did the show. I did the show because it was my only opportunity to have the world understand me and where I came from and what I was feeling. As you know…I was offered a spot on Celebrity Apprentice and I chose to do Celebrity Rehab instead because I felt like it gave me an opportunity to have the world know who I was and to see me work out the issues that I had in the past and hopefully move away from them."

Uchitel also says she was caught off-guard after Donald Trump blasted the move.

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"I was really surprised that Donald Trump would come out and make whatever remarks he made. You know, I thought that was really unfair.

"People will say I did it for the money. People will say I did it for notoriety. People will say I did it to become a reality star. At the end of the day, I needed treatment and I chose to get it that way on television because it was the only way that I could let people see who I was."

And while she's reticent when it comes to talking Tiger, Rachel does mention another of her famous flings.

"I did know that David was married, but I also know the kind of relationship that David was in," she said of the now quite public details of her affair with David Boreanaz.

"Again, I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to get into this because David doesn't need to be involved in any more issues and I wish him the best…Unfortunately, what comes out to the press later isn't the whole story, but I choose not to talk about it because I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt his wife."

Currently studying to get her masters degree in forensic psychology, Uchitel is involved in an intensive 10-week detective course and has already participated in undercover stings. She's also looking for a special someone…in a very unexpected place.

"The reality of my life is pretty funny and interesting. I'm dating on Match.com; I'm studying to be a private investigator, you know, it's sort of random. It could make a good show, but I'm not sure what will happen there."

Still, Uchitel holds out hope that she won't always be painted as the villain she claims not to be.

"I think that watching Celebrity Rehab will help people move past the image that they have of me. I hope it will. If it doesn't, then that's OK. And that's fair.

"Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a chance to be heard out. Doing Celebrity Rehab was my chance to be heard out."

Robert Pattinson Says No to Simon Cowell

Everyone wants a piece of Robert Pattinson—including ex-Idol Simon Cowell.

According to Britain's Sun, Rob turned down an offer to sign with Cowell's record label, Syco: "He is a clever guy, and he's created artists that he knows the public will like, that's why I don't think he could ever launch my music career."

This coming from Hollywood's most sought after star...

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It totally doesn't surprise us though. Rob is a chilled, laid-back guy who isn't looking for fame. He's just looking to do what he loves!

"I am selfish with my music. I get my guitar and I play what I like, but the problem is I don't think many other people would like it," 'fessed R.Pattz.

"I see myself playing in a rundown blues bar, with about three people drowning their sorrows. I play according to my mood, and sometimes that can come across as very depressing in music."

Let's hope there are no blues tunes now that he's working again with Kristen Stewart.

Still, just because Cowell isn't Rob's type doesn't mean there's bad blood.

"I love Simon, I think he is a great personality, and I think his shows are entertaining," Pattinson reportedly says.

Let's remember, though, The Sun doesn't have the best track record with its Pattinson interviews being 100 percent legit, so we put in calls to Cowell and Pattinson's reps to see if it's all true stuff—have yet to hear back.

Doesn't seem too far fetched, though—Rob totally wants to strum his guitar the way he wants to. Isn't that why we all love the guy?

Charlie Sheen Hospitalized After "Emotionally Disturbed" Incident

There's never a dull moment when Charlie Sheen's around. Incidentally, there's rarely a moment without police intervention when Charlie Sheen's around, too.

E! News has confirmed that the Two and a Half Men star was hospitalized in New York City last night, after police were called to his hotel room.

So what happened?

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The New York Police Department won't name names, though a spokesperson confirmed a white, 45-year-old male was taken to a downtown hospital at roughly 1:30 a.m.

The city's finest responded to a call at the Plaza Hotel when an unidentified person reported an "emotionally disturbed individual" in the building.

So far, cops are staying mum on whether alcohol or other substances were involved, and have not yet stated the reason for his being carted away in an ambulance, stating simply, "He needed to go to the hospital."

Sheen was in New York City ostensibly to spend time with his ex-wife Denise Richards and their two daughters, who were staying in a separate room at the hotel. The group was even spotted out together Sunday night.

Rumors already abound as to potentially seedier circumstances surrounding the incident, though neither Sheen nor Richards' reps have yet commented on the matter.

The actor has not yet been released, and also has yet to be charged with any crimes.

Does a Classy Young Lady Like Lea Michele Really Need to Pose Half-Naked?

Why would big stars like the Glee cast do a half-naked shoot like they did for GQ? Doesn't that hurt their image?

—Quala, via the inbox

If the Glee kids were not the Glee kids, and instead worked as wage slaves at Walmart or Chase or Ralphs, yes, your pearl-clutching observation would make sense. But the Glee kids live in Hollywood, where up is down, skeletal is sex-ay and naked equals jobs.

Don't believe me? Here:

Let me step aside and let a real Hollywood publicist explain a few things to you.

"We have seen this before with other actors on youthful shows," veteran publicist Howard Bragman explains. "They want to show that although they play a kid, they are a full fledged, sexy adult."

In other words, they are available for any and all roles, not just those involving cheerleading outfits and spontaneous outbursts into Jay-Z covers.

Watch this space: Within a year or two, you'll see Lea Michele or Cory Monteith or Dianna Agron on a big screen in a small, but very grown-up role, and they will, in part, have their GQ jailbait photo shoot to thank for that.

FACEBOOK: As they say in the movies, Facebook me.

"It's great faux controversy," Bragman says, "and they have expanded the way casting people might look at them. Everyone is happy."

Actors have done gratuitous shoots for decades, son! 

Or were you not born when Jennifer Aniston went naked on the cover of Rolling Stone, and Cameron Diaz flashed her ass-crack in Vanity Fair?

Still don't buy it? Do I need to bring out a still photo of Harry Potter's ass?

"Daniel Radcliffe did this strategy the best by going nude in Equus," the play, Bragman says.

"It was controversial; it generated lots of publicity; and it cast the actor in a new light to the industry. It's very parallel."

Indeed; it probably helped Radcliffe land the lead in a very not-kiddie-picture: All Quiet on the Western Front.

Week in Review: Glee Stars Go Sexy and Get Slammed For It

COVER GIRLS OF THE WEEK: What's good for Gleeks and GQ readers isn't so great, apparently, for sexual mores and common decency, according to the Parents Television Council. The conservative watchdog group took major issue with Gentlemen's Quarterly and Glee's Lea Michele, Dianna Agron and Cory Monteith—all of whom are perfectly legal—for what the PTC perceived to be a cover and photo spread that bordered on child porn. (Which has given Playgirl an idea.) But what do you know? The intent wasn't to offend and the issue is still steaming up on newsstands.

Read on for more of the week's biggest stories:

PHOTOS: Week's Hottest Pics

REPRIEVE OF THE WEEK: Though her legal camp feared the worst, Lindsay Lohan was ordered back to rehab rather than jail, the judge determining that counseling and more sober-living-centric care is what the starlet needs right now. Alas, jail is free, and rehab—not places like the Betty Ford Center, anyway—doesn't come cheap.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK: Mel Gibson, thisclose to a cameo in Hangover 2 that would have made the public love him again and solved ALL his problems, was unconsidered for the job after too many people (maybe one in particular) with a stake in the sequel voiced objections. Enter Liam Neeson.

BACKFIRE OF THE WEEK: Tyra Banks, while trying to keep an alleged stalker away from her family, was slapped with a lawsuit filed by the mom of one of her former talk-show guests—a 15-year-old self-described sex addict. Mom wants $3 million because her underage daughter was able to air her dirty laundry without first showing parental consent.

BUMPWATCH OF THE WEEK: Beyoncé's uterus, whether it's empty or not, was the subject of much conversation...Meanwhile, Rachel Zoe's bun in the oven has been rising for 4 1/2 months...Melissa Rycroft's having a girl...Lance Armstrong's fifth miracle baby arrived...Kate Hudson would have been a boy if Goldie Hawn's farsighted OBGYN had his way.

WEDDING COUNTDOWN OF THE WEEK: Katy Perry and Russell Brand by all accounts are getting married this weekend in India. At least, that's why Perry thinks they're surrounded by security in Jaipur . Brand is actually in town to hunt paparazzi, hoping to have a few heads on his wall by the time the honeymoon is over.

TRANSFORMATIONS OF THE WEEK: Taylor Swift went studiously brunette for a Target ad...Scarlett Johansson bobbed her hair for real...Kanye West tells Ellen he considered suicide but has a new lease on life now.

FIRST AID: Christina Aguilera treated for bruised lip after fall, still nursing broken heart after split...Céline Dion hospitalized to prevent premature delivery of twins...Leonard Nimoy recovering after abdominal surgery...Jean-Claude Van Damme says he's in perfect health, perhaps because a heart attack wouldn't be good for his image...Eva Longoria Parker OK after car crash...Challenge: Cutthroat cast sends well wishes as host T.J. Lavin fights for his life.

LAW ENFORCEMENT: Randy and Evi Quaid, arrested at the Canadian border on an outstanding warrant in California, give an amazing explanation...Big Brother 10's Steven Daigle busted for alleged ex-boyfriend beatdown...Teen Mom mom Amber Portwood investigated for domestic violence...Attempted murder charge for 1968's Playboy Playmate of the Year...Cameron Diaz fan goes after A-Rod at Yankee Stadium, cops put quick stop to it...I Love New York contestant gets 50-to-life for murder.

FEATURE FILM:  Angelina Jolie gets her permit to shoot in Bosnia...The Hobbit, in all its delayed but promising glory, has got its Bilbo and dwarfs, if not a country to call its own...Lea Michele gearing up for feature debut...Mandy Moore's image makeover...Inside the Breaking Dawn sex scene and birth scene...50 Cent reveals this Chelsea Handler business is movie-related...Transformers 3 title sparks a brainstorm...Kristen Stewart doesn't mind her fans' moniker...Megan Fox's new project...The most revealing Harry Potter promo yet...David Arquette and Courteney Cox fight a killer in the Scream 4 trailer.

TV LAND: Stephen Colbert gives The View a taste of its own medicine...Exclusive Glee-does-Rocky Horror sneak peek...Night of Too Many Stars raised much money for autism education...Five shocking Oprah confessions...President Barack Obama headed to The Daily Show—and Mythbusters!...An emotional goodbye to Florence Henderson on Dancing With the Stars...Alert Rev. Lovejoy! Homer Simpson is Catholic...SPOILER ZONE!

SIDE NOTE: Five Reality Stars We Are Really Hating Right Now

MUSICAL NOTES: Rihanna expands the brand, puts herself in Jay-Z's hands...A committed Lady Gaga steers clear of France for now...Miley Cyrus' latest smash hit...Taylor Swift talks "Mean"...Wee Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" video debut...T.I. enlists Chris Brown for viewer appeal on "Get Back Up"...Lady Antebellum and Easton Corbin scoring seven noms apiece fornewbie American Country Awards...Kanye's album cover banned by Walmart (it's more sexual than the GQ cover)...Carmen Electra goes girl-on-girl for Filter's "No Love."

LAKER GIRL: Monica engaged to L.A. Laker Shannon Brown. 

DIVORCE COURT: Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson doesn't want to be her husband's wife anymore.

CIVIL ACTION: Jamie Lee Curtis not in Tony's will...Gretchen Rossi's defamation suit decimated...Trademark issues unravel JWoww's clothing line...We don't blame Adrien Brody for not wanting Giallo to come out...Paparazzo claims Mike Tyson left a mark.

PRODUCT REPLACEMENT: No more AXE deal for T.I. after latest prison sentence.

FAREWELL: Tom Bosley, especially known for playing one of the great TV dads on Happy Days, died of cancer at 83...Barbara Billingsley, a TV mom for the ages on Leave It to Beaver and a memorable comedienne in Airplane!, died at 94...Bob Guccione, founder of Penthouse and producer of the cult-classically bad Caligula, died of cancer at 79.

RUMOR MILL: The good news is, that's one less breakup for Jennifer Aniston...Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett denies that there's trouble in paradise...An eyewitness explains the Justin Bieber-laser tag kerfuffle...Would Taylor Swift really call a song about John Mayer "Dear John"?

SEEN: Taylor Momsen's boobettes...Jessica Simpson crossing paths with Nick Lachey at West Hollywood restaurant Red O...Kim Kardashian having her cake and Kanye too at her 30th birthday party in Manhattah, sharing b-day cake with fans in Toronto, and celebrating in Las Vegas...David Arquette chatting up a gaggle of blondes at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood,amiably watching daughter Coco's equestrian show with Courteney, and speaking out against Prop 23 in Sacramento...Jennifer Lopez's twins Max and Emme, "modeling" for a Gucci ad on a Malibu beach...Hilary Swank's skipping a shave at Elle magazine's 17th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute...Sarah Jessica Parker and Michelle Obama being fabulous at the Night on Broadway fundraiser in NYC...Sienna Miller hosting opening night of Esquire House Los Angeles, then grabbing a bite with Jason Segel at the Den.